For those who haven't read my blog before, I live and work in the United Arab Emirates. I teach English to ESL students in the 12th grade. Don't judge my teaching ability by any gaffes that may appear in my rants. I used to be a fairly good writer. Unfortunately, after seven full years of teaching abroad--the last six of which have been spent here, preceded by one year of teaching in Taiwan--my English skills have actually deteriorated rather than improved. Bad company corrupts good manners or in my case good English practice. You miss a lot when you work abroad. It's a sacrifice that you make so that you can bring in the big tax-free paycheck and dodge creditors. One thing I miss is Halloween. There are places around wherein expats can participate in something like Halloween, but the big celebration of fun that takes place in the States just doesn't happen here. I miss American Football--college and NFL--too, but that's a story for another day. So, for the next month or two--between bitching about Killary--I'm going to throw a few scary movie reviews up here to get me in the Halloween mood. The first thing I'm going to do is rank the Nightmare on Elm St. movies. I won't be covering a lot of new ground here as I agree with most critics and fans, but it will be a nice short one to start with.
1. A Nightmare on Elm St.: (1984) The one that started it all. Many would say that it is still the best. It does hold up a lot better than some of the others. It's certainly scarier. I think almost everybody chooses this one, Dream Warriors or New Nightmare as their favorite. I'm in the Dream Warriors camp, but there's nothing wrong with this one. I call it a 5-star classic. I was able to watch this first run at the theater where my dad worked part-time as a cleaner. I was ten years old and loving life.
2. A Nightmare on Elm St. 2:Freddy's Revenge:(1985) A quick turn around to make a second part. It's my least favorite in the series--including the remake. They didn't really follow the "rules" of the majority of 'Elm St.' films and the acting in this one is atrocious--excluding Robert Englund of course. I later found out that there were tons of gay overtones in this movie. It was all over my head when I was eleven. I can still give it somewhere between a 2 and a 3-star rating. Freddy is like pizza.
3.A Nightmare on Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors:(1987) This is my favorite of the series. This is where they started bringing in fantasy elements and allowing the teen characters--some of them anyway--to put up a fight using their dream powers. The mix of horror and humor were balanced perfectly in this one. It still holds up to this day. You will notice a theme throughout the series: the better movies happen when they don't go for a quick turn around--this time spending two years before cranking out a sequel--and when Wes Craven has some involvement. This is 5-star all the way for me.
4.A Nightmare on Elm St. 4: The Dream Master:(1988) Case and point--one year between sequels and no Wes Craven equals mediocrity...for the most part. Freddy goes full comedy in this one and they kill off all the good characters from the third movie in the opening scenes Alien 3 style. That just sucked, and Alice wasn't nearly as good as the old characters were. I do remember liking this one more back when it first came out and I was a plucky teen just entering the ninth grade. It's probably been ten years or more since I last watched it. It's still entertaining, but clearly all of the non-Freddy actors and actresses have such flat delivery of their lines. It was a product of its time. I give it somewhere between a 3 and a 4.
5. A Nightmare on Elm St. 5: The Dream Child:(1989) Another one with a one-year turnaround. No wonder the series started losing steam; it was over-saturated. I didn't remember them coming out like that--I know the 'Saw' franchise was an annual thing for the longest time, but I never thought of these movies as yearly events. This one has grown on me over the years. It kind of flipped and flopped with 'Dream Master' and it has always been one of the good ones, but some of the kills--especially the 'Greta' kill--just seem too mean spirited. There is a delicate balance when doing gallows type humor. It's a little too dark for me this time. This same uncomfortable feeling shows up for me again in the remake. For what it's worth I give it 4-stars. It was underrated by a lot of people including me.
6. Freddy's Dead:The Final Nightmare:(1991) Back to a two year turnaround, but this time it didn't help. This one is all over the place in tone, and I guess this is where they really lost the plot. Dream demons were stupid and really ruined Freddy's origin. I don't know what they were even thinking there. I liked the kills in this one--although one could argue that the pendulum of balance may have swung too much in the direction of lightheartedness this time. The 3-D effect in the theater was only so-so. Had they done it with today's 3-D technology it would have been a lot better. Lisa Zane was such a babe back then...alas, it was my last year of high school...now I'm 42...so....yeah...I can give it a 3-star review.
7. Wes Craven's New Nightmare:(1994) It's no masterpiece, but it's really grown on me over the years. Three full years since the last sequel and not exactly cannon, this movie addressed a lot of what went wrong with Freddy as a character. I won't say too much about it that hasn't already been said. It's worth a watch and is often in the discussion of which 'Elm St.' film was best. For what it's worth I give it 4-stars.
8. Freddy vs. Jason: (2003) I loved it and wish that they would have done more. It was nearly ten years between sequels this time. The director and writer gave lots of love to Freddy and Jason and the fans. I give it 4-stars. I wouldn't quite put it up there with 'original', 'warriors' or 'new' as far as "real" films go, but as a genre film--it was so awesome. I can't believe it's already 13 years old.
9. A Nightmare on Elm St.:(2010) I don't loathe it, but it's not very good. Freddy's character design is garbage. The movie is far more boring than it needs to be. They didn't try to do anything really new. Nightmare on Elm St. movies should be amazing now. The teens should have plenty of powers to fight Freddy with and Freddy should have a lot of creative kills--that's what makes these types of movies fun. The only cool thing they added were the 'micro-naps'. I also hate, hate, hate when they play up the 'child molester' angle with Freddy. I know he was never a nice guy in any of his origins, but mostly he needs to be killing wild teens--and he's more of a dirty old man toward the teens than young kids. I like the character played as a bogey man and urban legend than a child molester that's for sure. I give it between 2 and 3 stars again.
Final Ranking: 1.Dream Warriors
2.Original
3. Vs. Jason
4. New Nightmare
5. Dream Child
6. Dream Master
7. Freddy's Dead
8. Reboot
9. Freddy's Revenge
So, here in 2016 I hear rumors of another attempt at a reboot--Robert Englund is said to be interested in at least doing a cameo. Here's to it. Oh, and one more thing I always dug the posters for parts 1-5. It was really good artwork that you just don't get out of posters these days, and worth mentioning...avert your eyes from the Freddy's Dead poster though--simply standard fare.
1. A Nightmare on Elm St.: (1984) The one that started it all. Many would say that it is still the best. It does hold up a lot better than some of the others. It's certainly scarier. I think almost everybody chooses this one, Dream Warriors or New Nightmare as their favorite. I'm in the Dream Warriors camp, but there's nothing wrong with this one. I call it a 5-star classic. I was able to watch this first run at the theater where my dad worked part-time as a cleaner. I was ten years old and loving life.
2. A Nightmare on Elm St. 2:Freddy's Revenge:(1985) A quick turn around to make a second part. It's my least favorite in the series--including the remake. They didn't really follow the "rules" of the majority of 'Elm St.' films and the acting in this one is atrocious--excluding Robert Englund of course. I later found out that there were tons of gay overtones in this movie. It was all over my head when I was eleven. I can still give it somewhere between a 2 and a 3-star rating. Freddy is like pizza.
3.A Nightmare on Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors:(1987) This is my favorite of the series. This is where they started bringing in fantasy elements and allowing the teen characters--some of them anyway--to put up a fight using their dream powers. The mix of horror and humor were balanced perfectly in this one. It still holds up to this day. You will notice a theme throughout the series: the better movies happen when they don't go for a quick turn around--this time spending two years before cranking out a sequel--and when Wes Craven has some involvement. This is 5-star all the way for me.
4.A Nightmare on Elm St. 4: The Dream Master:(1988) Case and point--one year between sequels and no Wes Craven equals mediocrity...for the most part. Freddy goes full comedy in this one and they kill off all the good characters from the third movie in the opening scenes Alien 3 style. That just sucked, and Alice wasn't nearly as good as the old characters were. I do remember liking this one more back when it first came out and I was a plucky teen just entering the ninth grade. It's probably been ten years or more since I last watched it. It's still entertaining, but clearly all of the non-Freddy actors and actresses have such flat delivery of their lines. It was a product of its time. I give it somewhere between a 3 and a 4.
5. A Nightmare on Elm St. 5: The Dream Child:(1989) Another one with a one-year turnaround. No wonder the series started losing steam; it was over-saturated. I didn't remember them coming out like that--I know the 'Saw' franchise was an annual thing for the longest time, but I never thought of these movies as yearly events. This one has grown on me over the years. It kind of flipped and flopped with 'Dream Master' and it has always been one of the good ones, but some of the kills--especially the 'Greta' kill--just seem too mean spirited. There is a delicate balance when doing gallows type humor. It's a little too dark for me this time. This same uncomfortable feeling shows up for me again in the remake. For what it's worth I give it 4-stars. It was underrated by a lot of people including me.
6. Freddy's Dead:The Final Nightmare:(1991) Back to a two year turnaround, but this time it didn't help. This one is all over the place in tone, and I guess this is where they really lost the plot. Dream demons were stupid and really ruined Freddy's origin. I don't know what they were even thinking there. I liked the kills in this one--although one could argue that the pendulum of balance may have swung too much in the direction of lightheartedness this time. The 3-D effect in the theater was only so-so. Had they done it with today's 3-D technology it would have been a lot better. Lisa Zane was such a babe back then...alas, it was my last year of high school...now I'm 42...so....yeah...I can give it a 3-star review.
7. Wes Craven's New Nightmare:(1994) It's no masterpiece, but it's really grown on me over the years. Three full years since the last sequel and not exactly cannon, this movie addressed a lot of what went wrong with Freddy as a character. I won't say too much about it that hasn't already been said. It's worth a watch and is often in the discussion of which 'Elm St.' film was best. For what it's worth I give it 4-stars.
8. Freddy vs. Jason: (2003) I loved it and wish that they would have done more. It was nearly ten years between sequels this time. The director and writer gave lots of love to Freddy and Jason and the fans. I give it 4-stars. I wouldn't quite put it up there with 'original', 'warriors' or 'new' as far as "real" films go, but as a genre film--it was so awesome. I can't believe it's already 13 years old.
9. A Nightmare on Elm St.:(2010) I don't loathe it, but it's not very good. Freddy's character design is garbage. The movie is far more boring than it needs to be. They didn't try to do anything really new. Nightmare on Elm St. movies should be amazing now. The teens should have plenty of powers to fight Freddy with and Freddy should have a lot of creative kills--that's what makes these types of movies fun. The only cool thing they added were the 'micro-naps'. I also hate, hate, hate when they play up the 'child molester' angle with Freddy. I know he was never a nice guy in any of his origins, but mostly he needs to be killing wild teens--and he's more of a dirty old man toward the teens than young kids. I like the character played as a bogey man and urban legend than a child molester that's for sure. I give it between 2 and 3 stars again.
Final Ranking: 1.Dream Warriors
2.Original
3. Vs. Jason
4. New Nightmare
5. Dream Child
6. Dream Master
7. Freddy's Dead
8. Reboot
9. Freddy's Revenge
So, here in 2016 I hear rumors of another attempt at a reboot--Robert Englund is said to be interested in at least doing a cameo. Here's to it. Oh, and one more thing I always dug the posters for parts 1-5. It was really good artwork that you just don't get out of posters these days, and worth mentioning...avert your eyes from the Freddy's Dead poster though--simply standard fare.
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