It's therapy day on RPG a Day for 2018 with the prompt 'How has gaming changed you?'
Before I go into what gaming has done and continues to do for me, I will first give credit to God, my Christian upbringing and my family--mom, dad, and younger brother back in the old days--without which no amount of gaming in the world would have saved me. In spite of the fact that my dad was working all the time, we never a lot of money growing up. He worked all of his life and really never got ahead. However, he did have a successful marriage, and raised two boys who are at least somewhat functioning members of society. Ultimately, Dad was able to retire happily for a few years, before we lost him back in December of 2010. I love him, respect him, and wish that he was still here today, but some of his financial and "career" choices set the family back for years. We made a lot of moves--some lateral and some for the worse--meaning going to different schools in different towns and never getting to form "lifelong friends". Adults from a certain era--my parents were born in the 40's--didn't understand how important it was for a child, especially an introverted one, to develop strong social skills. I'm sure they were more concerned with keeping us in food, water, clothing and shelter, but it didn't make the time any easier. It's hard to go through high school with little or no friends--depending on what year it was. I more or less missed out on everything that an American high school student expects to do aside from the graduation ceremony--and I wouldn't have even done that had my parents not insisted. It doesn't bother me as much now, but I still remember the feeling at age 44 and if I live long enough I'll remember at age 104. So, aren't we supposed to be talking about RPGs...yeah, and here's the abridged version of how they've been around like the "life long friend" I never got to make in Elementary School.
Firstly, lets talk about the preteen years. These were stable times for the most part. I lived in Georgia in the States attending 1st grade all the way to the beginning of grade 7, so as a "kid" kid things weren't so bad really.When I was only nine years old apparently, my interest in Dungeons and Dragons started with the animated series. I was also into the Choose Your Own Adventure books especially a series called Time Machine. I was crazy about the dinosaur one. At some point here my brother and I did buy a D&D book of some kind as I remember it, but since my parents weren't into it and neither were any cousins or anything like that, we had to experiment on our own. I thought it was the AD&D Thieves Screen, but that wouldn't be for another ten years. Damn that Mandella Effect. At any rate if we really had such a thing, we were too young for it. We had He-Man and Visionary toys, but never got any of the D&D ones. Living in the South we did encounter the whole Satanic Panic of the 80's but it wasn't too bad. Mom and Dad were just glad we were reading.
CHANGE: You can be a Christian and still be in to fantasy, horror or anything else. It's important that one knows the difference between fantasy and reality.
Second, these are my early teen years. I was in fact just turning 13 when one of my Dad's bad moves happened. We left the schools we were used to and moved to Alabama. Now, it's nothing that's like a drive of a few hours, but it was horrible as I recall it and the start of a downturn in my life. My brother and I got into the Fighting Fantasy books and the lesser known Wizards, Warriors and You books from my new school library. The town we lived in called Jackson, Alabama was really screwy. Their high school started with 7th grade, so there were guys my age just turning thirteen, going to the same campus as guys who were eighteen or better. It wasn't a great time by any means. My brother and I also came up with a wrestling game for our M.U.S.C.L.E. toys. These were small pink wrestler toys from Japan. They were relatively cheap and we made a rudimentary RPG with them.
CHANGE: Seeing my brother as a collaborator and friend...although he'd outgrow almost all of our hobbies including RPGs. The Alabama experiment lasted for a year and we were back in Georgia, but another different town where I knew no one. I did get to make one nerdy friend and his dad had the first edition D&D we tried to play it, but it was too tough for us. Had his dad been available to teach we would have probably gotten into it.
CHANGE: You can make friends through gaming. Things were quiet on the RPG front for about two years when my dad decided it was moving time again. At some point during this my brother and I finally hit the big time. We went to the Atlanta comic-book convention known as Dragon Con. This led to me playing and running games of Marvel Superheroes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other Strangeness, After the Bomb and finally Heroes Unlimited. This was the time that I also bought my first set of dice. I ran for a couple of years sometimes only for my little brother and other times with him and one of his friends. I remember specifically playing a Marvel Superheroes session with the whole family. Of course, Mom and Dad were just humoring us I'm sure--and Dad's actions with Marvel's 'The Thing' from Fantastic Four would have gotten him banned from all social media if he had pulled it nowadays.
CHANGE: Gaming can be fun for all ages.
Third of all, a peek at my late teens and early twenties. As far as switching schools was concerned, I finally had enough and as clearly as I could explain, beg, and threaten, I told the 'rents that I would drop out if we switched again. I just couldn't be the new kid anymore. We did move yet again, but I didn't switch schools. Not that I liked my school. In deed I hated it for the most part. No gaming was to be had in those years unless it was my brother and I only, and if I remember, he'd already started to turn at this point. I got my fix through video games. I really enjoyed the game Wizardry on the old NES and I fell in love with reading the strategy guide. I wish I still had it. I would bring it to school almost everyday and one of my classmates started calling me 'The Wizard'. For the most part I muddled through my high school career and finally graduated.
CHANGE: In a pinch you can have fun reading about games and systems even if you never get to play them. Video Games are not the equal to a live table top, but they are a suitable replacement if you have no other choice...they're also pretty fun. So, after graduation I ran into one of the few friends that I had made over the years at a showing of Batman Returns. We got together and through them my gaming hit at what until that point was an all time high. We played: AD&D, Vampire the Masquerade, Deadlands, GURPs, and more Heroes Unlimited. In addition we were going nuts with the board games like Blood Bowl and Warhammmer (in all its guises including Quest)
CHANGE: You can use games to make friends II and there is a great variety of games, systems and genres available. If you can get people to play games with you, then you can expand to other interests and make lots of friends. This went on for years and years throughout my early twenties, and I remain friends with these guys to this day. We're mostly Facebook friends, but we still keep in touch and once in a while we get a chance to see each other, but those chances are few and far between and they usually don't involve gaming.
Fourth, we'll look at my late 20's up to the 30's. So, we were in gamers' paradise there for a bit, but you'll notice that one thing was lacking...girls.
CHANGE: Man cannot live by games alone. If you game too much--even today I might add--you are unlikely to encounter romance. For all the Satanic Panic and witchcraft worries this is the real danger in gaming. You are 'investing' lots of time and possibly lots of money into the hobby. People in my day, and to a certain extent to this day, see RPGs as a weird thing. If you look like a basement dweller odds are against any girls following you home to your basement to play, it's just a fact. Nowadays, with Roll*20, streaming games, and the geek is chic thing going on, you may have better luck than guys of my time had. If so, more power to you. If not, you may have to break away like I did. I pushed hard to get a wife--even then in a geeky way having found her via the web browser on my Sega Dreamcast during the infancy of internet dating. She isn't a gamer as far as RPGs go--she doesn't understand a game with no winner--and she doesn't like cartoons, but at least she'll watch scary movies with me.
CHANGE: Gaming can get you so far, but not everybody likes it, and that's okay. So, having now obtained a bride I had to start focusing on things to have a successful, continuous marriage. I went back to university and got my teaching degree. In those four years, all I could do was to fall back on video games, but Roll*20 and a great change was just ahead.
Finally, and I should give milestone level up to whoever reads this far, how are things today? I got back into RPGs while teaching because I remembered how much fun I used to have playing and I thought it would be an interesting way for the students to get into reading...it didn't work. As I had already learned, it's not for everybody. I had to drive a long way, but I managed to find a small group to play with in the UAE, eventually got hooked up with the large Gulf Roleplaying Community--which is still too far away, but I check in from time to time, got into Roll*20 where distance doesn't matter, and helped to start up a small group much closer to home that will be entering it's fourth active year.
CHANGE: If you think something is worth doing, find a way to do it. Somewhere along there I managed to obtain a daughter who will soon be four years old. I have every intention of introducing her to the hobby and she's already good at Role Playing without dice.
The biggest change RPGs brought to me was self-confidence. I went from a guy who would barely speak--and who to this day would still prefer to be silent--or even look anyone in the eye to making my living by standing up in front of people day in and day out. I try to play a role in every professional situation that I'm in...sometimes I pull it off better than others, but its a skill that I am fairly good at. In social situations, gaming is a very good icebreaker. Once you've gamed with someone, it opens the doors to talking about all sorts of other subjects and enjoying other activities together. Gaming has helped me to think critically, and imaginatively. This is very useful for spending time with my wife and daughter as we think of new ways to enjoy our time and enrich our lives. Gaming certainly isn't the only thing that's gotten me through this life, but with all the positives it has brought to me, I can't help but to preach it when given the opportunity.
